


Catching Fire

by SheHulk73



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Drama & Romance, F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-23
Updated: 2017-04-04
Packaged: 2018-10-09 14:10:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,734
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10413927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SheHulk73/pseuds/SheHulk73
Summary: Hotshot reporter, Lexa Woods, was living the good life in Los Angeles. Then came the phone call that would turn her world upside down, bringing her back to the town of Polis. There, waiting for her were old friends and old enemies, past tragedies and Clarke Griffin, the woman who owned her heart. Soon, Lexa would realise that there was no escape from the past.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Characters, except for original ones, do not belong to me.
> 
> Notes: This is an AU story I started a while back, before there was even Clexa. I've been back and forth about posting it, but in the end, it feels like a good fit for them.

**Chapter 1**

_**Present day** _

"I need you to be less scary."

Lexa Woods didn't bother looking up from her laptop. "I'm working here."

"Come on, Lexa. Try? For me?"

Lexa leaned back to look at her editor and friend, Melanie Brody, who was now seated with her long legs crossed and golden hair tied in a messy bun.

"I wasn't trying to be scary." Lexa sighed.

"You can be...intimidating sometimes, especially to new recruits."

It was true, Lexa had been told enough times. And maybe, she enjoyed making the new pups squirm. Just a little. After all, being a journalist was not an easy job.

"Those kids needed to toughen up. If they are scared of me, what will they do when they have to interview some asshole corrupt politician or murderous crime lord, huh? I'm just preparing them for what lies ahead."

"Must you be so dramatic?" Melanie asked with a hint of a smile.

"Always." Lexa smirked.

Melanie threw her hands in the air in defeat. "I give up. Do it your way but if they quit-"

"If they quit, they were never right for the job in the first place." Lexa jumped in.

"Why do I put up with you?"

"Because I'm your best reporter and you need me to bring in all the big stories."

"Have I talked to you about your arrogance?"

"Why bother? I'll be too arrogant to listen." Lexa winked.

Melanie rolled her eyes and placed a printed copy of Lexa's latest story on her desk. "Ok, serious business."

"What do you think?"

"Good as usual. Detailed and well-researched with a clear push for action."

Lexa cocked a brow. She had known Melanie for nearly 12 years. They had an interesting, and some would say, complicated relationship. Friends first, lovers next and after the demise of their romance, a professional relationship. She knew Melanie enough to know she was holding something back. "But?"

"What makes you think there's a 'but'?

"Because I know you."

Melanie smiled and leaned forward. "This piece feels very personal."

Lexa turned away. Melanie's words had threw her off. So determined was she to tell this story that she didn't stop to think what it meant to her. Maybe she simply didn't allow herself to connect the dots.

When Lexa didn't reply, Melanie said, "I can't help but notice the similarities to Lee's case."

Lexa fixed her sight on the city beyond the tinted glass of her 30th floor office. So much chaos, so alive. She inhaled deeply and decided to be honest. "I didn't want to dwell on the similarities but I guess you're right, it is personal. The family deserves to know why this young girl died, they deserve to know who were the people responsible."

Melanie reached over and placed her hand on Lexa's. "I know. Are you alright?"

"I'm fine, don't worry."

Assured, Melanie changed tone. "Now, about tonight."

Lexa immediately groaned. "Do I really have to?"

"You promised!" Melanie reminded her. "What's the worse that could happen? You don't like her, you don't have to call her. If you like her, great! You might even get laid. Trust me, she's hot and she thinks you're hot. She reads your articles religiously."

"You're pimping me out to our readers now?"

Melanie gripped Lexa by her shoulders. "Come on, do this for me. I've been dying to go on a date with Carol. Both of us have been so busy that we couldn't find the time until now. It just happens that her dear friend came for an unexpected visit. Carol is a nice person, she doesn't want to leave Marie alone on her first night in LA and I don't want to postpone the date again. Please? It'll be fun, I promise."

Lexa poked a finger at Melanie's chest. "Fine, but you owe me. Big time."

Melanie grinned. "Thank you! Thank you! You won't regret this."

Sensing eyes on them, Lexa lowered her voice. "A sense of decorum please, my dear editor?"

"Right."

At least Melanie had the sense to look sheepish. Lexa chuckled and stood up. "Alright, I'm going to head off and I'll pick you up at seven."

A wave and Lexa was off. She had just about reach the elevator when her mobile phone rang. Seeing the flashing name on her screen, she greeted cheerfully, "Hey mom!"

"Lexa...I…," Mae Woods said haltingly. "I have something to tell you."

Lexa was immediately alarmed by the graveness in her mother's voice. "What's wrong?"

"I don't know how to tell you."

"Mom, what happened? Are you alright? Is something wrong with Ed?"

"No, no, we're fine. Oh, this is terrible."

"Mom, just tell me. What's wrong?" Lexa asked impatiently.

A few seconds of silence followed before Mae said, "You need to come home. It's Stacy."

* * *

Lexa knew she was being a crappy date. Marie was fun, engaging, smart and pretty with sparkling blue eyes. She was the perfect date but it was hard to concentrate on anything when her head was a jumbled mess.

" _Stacy's gone, Lexa. She was killed in an accident last night. It was terrible. Clarke must be devastated, poor girl. Their daughter is only five."_

Her mother's words played in a loop, leaving her spinning like a leaf in the wind. The hours since the call passed in a daze as Lexa tried to wrap her head around the news.

The past crawled out of the dark to haunt her. Lexa could still see them so clearly as if it was only yesterday.

Painted the color of cream, sitting under the protective shade of white ash trees, the single-storey house rested quietly away from prying eyes. Untamed honeysuckle vines climbed the wooden fences, flanking the moss covered driveway, as the grass in the garden grew wild, concealing the bottom of the swing. It was there where Stacy used to sit, arms resting on her knees, a frown on her face and eyes searching in the afternoon heat.

At the sound of approaching footsteps, Stacy jumped to her feet. Together, the four of them - Lee, Clarke, Stacy and herself - would race down the narrow two lane street. Their slippers pounding the ground, trying to keep time with the furious beats of their hearts. They dipped their feet in the cool waters of the lake, chatting away. They sat leaning on each other as the shadows grew long. Under the orange sky, they said their goodbyes with promises of another lazy afternoon when a new day dawns.

When they weren't looking, books, boys, girls and the complications of life took away their lazy afternoons. Those days were now no more than memories, to be relived through browned photographs and in the wasted minutes of a day.

Inevitably, Clarke Griffin sprang into her mind. They were so happy and in love once. They said they would grow old and wrinkly together and it was a promise Lexa had believed in. She had every intention to make it a reality. Funny how life could change in a blink of the eye.

Lexa barely registered the conversation happening around her until she felt a tap on her arm. She turned to see Melanie staring at her with concern.

"I'm ok," Lexa mouthed. Feeling close to being overwhelmed, she stood up. "Can you excuse me for a minute? I need to make a quick call...work."

Lexa was out the door before anyone could say anything. Out on the street, she stood watching the passing cars and people walking by. Seeing a guy smoking at a corner, she approached him.

"Hi, can I bum one from you?"

The tip glowed a cherry red as she inhaled the bitter smoke into her lungs. She watched the smoke curling in front of her face as she blew out a puff.

"I thought you quit smoking," someone called out.

Without turning around, Lexa asked, "What are you doing out here, Mel?"

"Checking on you" Melanie said as she moved to stand next to Lexa.

"Go on back, I'm fine."

"No, you're not." Melanie placed her hand on Lexa's back, rubbing gently. "What's wrong?"

Lexa shut her eyes tightly for a moment before replying," My mom called. Remember Stacy?"

"Yes, your best friend growing up."

Lexa drew in an urgent breath. "She was killed last night in a head-on collision with a truck. Fell asleep at the wheel, I was told, and swerved into the opposing lane. Died instantly."

Melissa drew her hand to her mouth in shock. "Oh my God, Lexa, I'm so sorry. This is horrible, what about Clarke and Ginny? God, I hope they were not in the car with her."

"No, thank God they weren't with her. Stacy was driving back from Chicago, she gave a talk at a seminar there." A beat. "The funeral is tomorrow afternoon."

"Are you going?"

Lexa sucked in the last of her cigarette, stubbing it out on the nearby trash can. Turning to Melanie, she shrugged. "I don't know."

Lexa watched as Melanie pursued her lips and dipped her head for a second. She prepared herself for the persuasion she knew was coming. Melanie didn't disappoint. "You should go. There's still time. Go book a flight online, you can fly early tomorrow morning and be there in time for the funeral. I know Mae will be happy to have you home again, and Clarke too. She could use all the support she could get."

Lexa smiled ruefully. "My mom will but I'm not sure about Clarke. The last time I saw her was that night at the hospital. I...I don't want to make things worse for her."

"Lexa, that was a long time ago."

"It's not something you forget. If you were her, would you have forgiven me?

"Yes, I would," Melanie said with absolute certainty. "You have to go easy on yourself. You were 18, and things were crazy. You did what you thought was right at the time."

Lexa ran both hands through her hair. She wanted to scream till she's hoarse and her veins popped. Nothing came, instead her throat tighten.

Her words came in a near whisper, "It's not fair. They were supposed to be happy together for the rest of their lives. Stacy should be there to watch her daughter grow up. She was supposed to give Clarke what I couldn't. That was the deal."

Melanie moved to hold her friend, but pulled back when Lexa shrunk away.

"I'm fine," Lexa insisted.

"Why don't I take you home?"

"No, I'm really fine. You go and enjoy your hot date with Carol."

"You're more important to me. I'll take you home, ok?"

Lexa smiled genuinely for the first time since Mae called. "I mean it, go back in and enjoy yourself. Thank you for the offer but I can take a cab."

"Are you sure? I don't want to leave you like this."

"You're not, I want some time alone. Just tell Marie I'm sorry, say I'm not feeling well or something."

Melanie didn't seem convinced, but didn't push the subject. "Ok, but call if you want company or need to talk. Any time, I'll be there."

"I will. Have I told I love you lately?" Lexa lightly bumped Melanie's arm with her fist.

"Not recently. About damn time you show me some love instead of spiking my blood pressure. You can be such a health hazard sometimes, Woods."

"Get lost already." Lexa jested.

Melanie turned serious. "Think about it? The funeral. I don't want you to regret not going later. It has been 12 years. It's time, don't you think?"

Lexa nodded. "Yea, I'll think about it."

"Good, remember call me if you need anything," Melanie said as she started backing away. "And lay off the cigarettes, took you forever to quit!"

"Stop nagging!" Lexa chuckled.

She remained on the sidewalk for a minute more. Maybe Melanie was right, it was time to go home. She pushed the thought aside as she turned on her heels and headed towards the nearest convenience store.

One pack of cigarettes would not hurt.

* * *

"I love the rain," Stacy used to say.

Stacy was fond of telling her wife and child about how she would sneak outside when drops started falling from the sky when she was a kid. Arms outstretched, head thrown back, round and round she would spin. The forming puddles soaking her bare feet with not a care in the world.

So, it was fitting that Clarke woke up this morning to grey skies. By the time they arrived at the church, it was pouring unforgivingly. Umbrellas stacked up neatly at the entrance of the church, the water dripping onto the tiled floor, and forming small puddles. Family and friends arrived half soaked, shuffling to their seats, careful not to slip on their wet shoes. Clarke could almost hear Stacy's cackle echoing in the vast hall of the church.

Stacy would have said it was good day for a funeral. The thought made Clarke smile.

She directed her gaze towards the front pew where her adopted sister, Raven sat with her daughter Ginny. It had taken them an hour to get Ginny ready for the funeral. How do you even begin to explain to a five-year old child that her mother was never coming back?

She had help from her mother and sister, but it shattered her already broken heart just the same. Ginny couldn't understand at first, asking one question after another, "Where did Mommy go? Why did she leave? Doesn't she love us anymore?"

When it finally sank in, Ginny broke into tears and refused to leave her room. Dr Abby Griffin, ever a woman of action, took charge. She sat with her granddaughter in the darkened room for houses, leaving Clarke and Raven free to arrange the funeral.

Ginny was sullen the whole morning, barely saying more than a few words. Clarke's heart squeezed painfully, she would do anything to make this easier for her child, but she was at a loss herself.

"Clarke," a familiar voice shook her from her thoughts.

She turned to see Mae Woods and her husband, Ed looking at her sympathetically.

Mae took Clarke's hands. "I'm so sorry for your loss. If there's anything, anything at all that we could do, just ask."

"Thank you, and thank you for coming despite the rain. I heard the roads in your neighborhood are flooded."

"It's nothing major. I'd come even if our house is five feet under water. I watched you girls grow up...you, Stacy, my Lexa and Lee, the four musketeers. I wish..." she trailed off.

Ed placed a comforting arm over his wife's shoulder. "Dear, let's find a seat."

Mae nodded and took a step forward, then halted. "Clarke, I told Lexa."

Clarke hitched a breath upon hearing the name as her already tattered emotions took another tumble. Composing herself, she asked, "Is-is she coming?"

"I don't know. She said she'll try," Mae said apologetically.

Clarke nodded with a feeble smile as the couple walked away.

She knew Lexa wasn't coming. Why would she? Apart from two congratulations cards Lexa sent for their wedding and Ginny's birth, she had made no attempts to contact them. Lexa had sent tickets for Mae and Ed to fly to LA for visits, but never once did she come back.

But, Clarke knew she had to be fair. She herself didn't make any effort to contact Lexa either. Lexa was a memory she had tucked away in the recesses of her heart, a memory too dangerous to remember.

Stacy had always regretted how things ended between the three of them. "Lexa will come home one day. I know she will," Stacy had said a couple of times.

Clarke didn't share her conviction. To her, Lexa Woods had left them all behind the night she took off all those years ago.

She could not see Lexa coming back, not even for the funeral of her former best friend.

* * *

_**Polis, 2000** _

When 14-year old Lexa set her mind on something, little would stand in her way. Not a home security system, a second-storey bedroom or a 13-year old girl named Clarke Griffin.

"I can't watch this," Stacy Mason said she she peeked through her fingers covering her eyes.

"Relax. At worst, she breaks her legs." Lee Woods leaned casually against the tree in the Griffin's backyard.

"Why aren't you more worried? She's your sister!"

Lee motioned towards the girl climbing the pipes before them. "Look at her, she's doing fine."

"You two back there, stop talking. I'm trying to concentrate," Lexa whisper-yelled as she stuck her foot in a small space between the pipe and the wall.

Lee pressed her finger against her lips, shushing, "See? No talking."

"God, you two are nuts," Stacy muttered, turning her attention back to Lexa with half closed eyes.

The two young girls watched as Lexa deftly made her way up to the targeted bedroom window. Stacy released a huge sigh of relief. Lee laughed at her.

Lexa peered into the dark room and saw the sleeping form on the bed. She tapped the window. When the figure didn't stir, she tapped harder, calling out, "Clarke, wake up!"

The sleeping girl rolled over slowly, eyes blinking rapidly to chase sleep away. Her eyes fell on the figure by the window. Instantly, Clarke yelped, almost falling from the bed.

"It's me, Lexa." She pressed her palms on the window, grinning away.

It took a moment for Clarke to compose herself. Glaring, she stormed to the window and lifted the latch. "What are you doing here? You scared me to death."

"I would ring the doorbell, but I don't think your mother would be happy to see me at this hour."

Clarke was about to retort when she realised Lexa was standing on the ledge, not more than five inches wide. "You're going to fall!"

"Ssshhhhhh," Lexa hushed. "Not so loud."

"How did you get up here?"

"I climbed," Lexa replied as if it was something she did every other day.

"How did you get pass the alarm?"

"Raven gave me the code in exchange for some firecrackers."

"You did not just give Raven explo-" Clarke paused to gather her thoughts. "My mother will you kill you dead, and then, she will kill me. That's if Raven doesn't kill us all by blowing up the house with your firecrackers first."

"Don't be so dramatic. I didn't give her enough to cause major damage. Now, come on, get changed."

"For what?"

"We're going to the lake for a swim."

"Now? It's past midnight."

"So?"

"So, people don't go swimming in the middle of the night."

"Says who?"

"Says sane, normal people."

"Oh come on, Clarke. You said the other day that you have always wanted to go swim in the lake at night. I'm just fulfilling your wish here. I even got those two goons to come along."

Clarke narrowed her eyes. "Which two goons?"

Lexa let go of one hand to gesture behind her. "See for yourself."

Clarke lurched forward, grabbing Lexa's free hand in alarm and hissed, "Are you trying to get yourself killed?"

"I have freakishly small feet, they fit nicely on the ledge."

"I don't care. Just don't let go."

"Ok, ok." Titling her head to the side, Lexa said, "Guys, be nice and wave to Princess Buttercup here."

Clarke poked her head out of the window, rolling her eyes when she saw Lee hopping up and down, hands waving in the air while Stacy shook her head in disbelief.

"Lee, I have nothing to say to you. Stacy, I can't believe you're going along with this. You guys just broke into my house and this one here could fall to her death," Clarke said as loudly as she dared.

Stacy raised her hands. "They lied to me. They said you'll be waiting for us."

"I didn't lie. She's waiting for us, she just didn't know it yet," Lexa defended herself. Looking directly at Clarke, she smiled. "Say yes, come on. It'll be fun."

"No. I'll get into trouble."

"Your mother wouldn't have to know. Say yes."

"No!"

"Yes."

"I said, no."

"And I say, yes."

"Ok, get in here and we'll talk."

"No, you say yes and I'll go in."

"No, you come in first."

"Give me the answer I want to hear, then I'll go in."

"You are...impossible," Clarke growled.

They were interrupted by Stacy yelling, "For the love of God, Clarke, just say yes! You know she's not going to give up until you do!"

Lee immediately clamped her hand over her friend's mouth." Are you trying to wake everyone up?"

All four froze as they waited for the dreaded sound of footsteps. When none came, Lexa said, "Okay, I won't push you. If you don't want to come, I'll go."

Clarke studied her friend, this was too easy. "What are you up to?"

"Nothing, you said you don't want to go. I'm letting you off the hook."

"No, this is too easy."

"I can't win with you. When I pushed, you said I'm impossible and now I'm backing off, you think I'm up to something." Lexa groaned in frustration. Then, mellowing a little, she continued gently, "Listen, I really did do this for you. It's for you, if you don't want to go, then it's fine."

Clarke found her resistance weakening despite her best effort not to. "You did?"

'Yes. Remember, on Tuesday, we were at Stacy's? You said you would like to do something really crazy like go swim in the lake at midnight, but you never could because your mother would never let you?"

"Yea, I remember that."

Lexa shrugged. "I just thought you might enjoy this little excursion. I'm gonna go before Stacy drops dead from all the excitement."

As Lexa started to inch her way to the pipes, Clarke grabbed her arm. "Wait, maybe a swim is not such a bad idea. It is pretty hot tonight."

"Really?" Lexa's smile broadened.

"Yea, why not?" Clarke smiled back at her.

"Great, go get changed."

"I will but first, you get inside here. Right this minute," Clarke ordered.

Laughing out loud, Lexa bowed her head. "As you wish."


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hotshot reporter, Lexa Woods, was living the good life in Los Angeles. Then came the phone call that would turn her world upside down, bringing her back to the town of Polis. There, waiting for her were old friends and old enemies, past tragedies and Clarke Griffin, the woman who owned her heart. Soon, Lexa would realise that there was no escape from the past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Characters, except for original ones, do not belong to me.
> 
> Notes: Got the chapter done, earlier than expected. So here it is. Thanks for reading! Any mistakes are entirely mine.

 

**Chapter 2**

**_Present Day_ **

The town looked different.

From high up in the air, as the plane made its descent, cutting through the white cloak of clouds, Lexa could make out several high-rise buildings she had never seen before. There seemed to be more houses and buildings yet Polis looked smaller than Lexa remembered. Common, just another dot on the map, like the other small towns she had visited over the years, except Lexa knew Polis was anything but.

Even the airport had changed. The former two-storey building was expanded to include a new wing, floor to ceiling tinted windows replaced the white walls she was familiar with, becoming a looming structure of steel and glass. It was sleek, grand, intimidating, befitting the drama-filled town where the rich ruled, and keeping up appearances were essential to maintain some form of dignity.

A blast of cold air hit her as Lexa stepped out of the terminal. She shivered slightly, tucking her hands into the warm shelter of her coat. After so many years in sunny Los Angeles, she had forgotten how cold autumn could get in Polis. Immediately, she regretted not packing thicker clothes.

She easily found a cab outside the arrival hall. "No.32, Collins Street," Lexa told the driver.

The driver drove slowly, maneuvering through the rush hour traffic. There were more cars on the roads than Lexa recalled. She supposed it was unavoidable. The population of Polis had increased a fair bit since she left.

They drove past familiar playgrounds; the tree lined streets of the town centre, the bus stand where she used to wait for the bus home and her old hangout, Red House. A few doors away from Red House was the bookstore she had came to regard as her second home.

She smiled fondly as she remember Veronica Arter, the owner of the bookstore. Tall and rack-thin with a fondness of flowery summer dresses, Veronica hid her jovial, whimsical nature behind her black rimmed glasses, and salt and pepper hair pulled tightly in a bun, giving off an impression of a stern librarian if one did not know her well. Most of all, she remembered her kindness. Aside from Clarke, Veronica was the only other person who had encouraged her love for the written word.

Knowing Lexa had little money to spare, Veronica would allow her to take home second hand books or let her read the new ones in the shop.

"No creases, no folding of pages and no stains. Understand?" Veronica would say before she placed a new novel in Lexa's anxious and grateful hands.

In return, Veronica asked Lexa to come in once a week on Saturday mornings to help out for a few hours. Lexa swept the floor, cleaned the counters and display cases, attended to customers and arranged the books diligently as told.

Sometimes, Clarke would come along to help. Lexa loved those days the most, Clarke and she would talk about mindless things as they work. It was a place and time where nothing bad could touch them. There, amidst the worlds of adventure, romance, horror and science fiction, they were free to dream, to be themselves, to enjoy each other's company without interference and worries.

A visit to Veronica's store was a must. While they kept in touch through the occasional emails, it had been a while since they saw each other. In more ways than anyone could understand, Lexa owed her career and perhaps, even her life to Veronica.

It wasn't long before the car turned towards Collins Street. Lexa observed the passing houses; spacious front lawn, strategically placed autumn flower beds, each structure with its own character and charm. The glow from the lights within against the darkening evening sky added to the aesthetic appeal, looking much like a picture out of a marketing brochure.

This place was far removed from the neighborhood Lexa grew up in. The Woods had moved up in the world, Lexa thought with a touch of pride.

The cab slowed to a stop at the curb, Lexa could see the number 32 hanging on the French Gothic fence. After the cab pulled away, she took a moment to take in the house. It was bigger than it looked in the pictures; two-storey, red brick English cottage-styled house with complimenting green shutters, giving it a homely and quaint feel.

Lugging her luggage along, Lexa made her way to the front door and rang the doorbell. She could hear her mother calling out, "Hang on, I'm coming!"

"Hi, mom," Lexa greeted when the door opened.

Mae stared blankly at her daughter for a second as though she was unsure of what she was seeing. Then she broke into a wide smile, drawing a hand to her chest, exclaiming, "Oh my God, it's you."

Before Lexa could utter a word, Mae swept her into a warm, welcoming embrace.

"Surprise," Lexa said softly.

"I can't believe you're really here."

"I told you I would try to come."

Mae pulled back and cupped Lexa's cheeks. "That was a month ago."

"I'm sorry, I meant to fly in earlier, but work got in the way."

It was a lie. Mae's mouth tugged downwards in an odd smile that told Lexa her mother knew she was lying.

Thankfully, Mae didn't say anything. Instead, she stepped to the side, opened the door wider and said, "Welcome home, Lexa."

* * *

Clarke felt robbed. Her days weighed down by an invisible anchor. Well-meaning folks kept telling her everything would be alright, and reminded her that time was a healer. She scoffed inwardly. Time was her constant tormenter.

Time became a reminder of all that was lost, unfulfilled promises and memories that would remain nothing more than a fragment of her imagination. There were moments when she wished it was terminal illness that took Stacy away from them. At least then she could be prepared. An accident was too sudden, knocking her world completely off balance.

Clarke gazed at her sleeping child, warm in bed. She kept a brave front, more for her daughter than anyone else. If there was one thing she could be grateful for, it was that Ginny was still so young. It's easier for children to move on. Memories were a fickle thing for a 5-year old, children were creatures who lived in the moment.

Already, Ginny was emerging from her gloomy mood. Clarke had spent every free minute she had with Ginny, easing her back into her normal routine. The nights that were the hardest. That's when Ginny would remember and when Clarke would hurt the most.

Satisfied that Ginny was in deep slumber at last, Clarke turned off the lights and left the room. She wandered around the house, tidying up. She took her time, needing to distract herself. By the time she was done, it was an hour later.

Resignedly, she headed to their bedroom. Their bedroom _._ She still couldn't think of the room as anything else.

The timber groaned under her feet as she climbed the stairs, a welcomed sound. The nights became too quiet for her liking, the house too big for just the two of them now. She had briefly contemplated selling the house, but in the end, she couldn't go through with the idea.

She couldn't even bring herself to clear the closet. Her mother had told her outright several times that she should start thinking about packing up Stacy's belongings. God, she loved her mother, but this was one of those times when she wished Abby would just shut the hell up. It was a good thing Abby never found out how long she kept Lexa's things after she left.

_Lexa._

The morning after the accident, as Clarke waited for the release of her wife's body in the brightly lit hallways of the hospital, Lexa crept into her mind.

Maybe it was the same setting or maybe, at that moment when she felt lost, she knew Lexa would know what to do. Lexa always knew. Clarke caught herself as the familiar ache began to spread in her chest.

What was the point? Lexa wasn't there. She hadn't been there for a long time. She scoffed bitterly; she supposed she had her own share of blame for Lexa's absence.

She stared at the empty space on Stacy's side of the bed in the dark for a long time. Finally, she turned to the other side, seeking the less painful view of the trees outside the windows.

Emotionally and physically drained, she shut her eyes and prayed for sleep to come.

* * *

Her stomach was bursting after a hearty dinner, courtesy of Ed. Lexa could see why her stepfather's cafe was doing so well.

"The church was packed. As sad as it was, Clarke gave a beautiful eulogy. I still can't believe Stacy is gone. She asked about you every time I see her. She reads your stories online, you know?," Mae said as they sat around the dining table.

Silently, Lexa berated herself for not attending the funeral. She would have wanted to say a proper goodbye to her friend, to grief and celebrate her life with those who loved her. She supposed she could console herself that at least, she had kept her promise to Stacy, no matter how difficult it was. A promise Clarke could never know.

Lexa swallowed hard at the memory, avoiding her mother's eyes. She was not someone who fear much, but this town with its memories and demons, frightened her.

Perhaps detecting Lexa's somber mood, Mae cut a large slice of the marble cake she baked and handed it to a protesting Lexa. "You're too thin. You need to eat more."

Lexa knew better than to protest. She found it funny that Mae should find her too thin, considering she had maintained the same weight since she was a teenager.

Every so often Mae or Ed would ask if needed anything, another cup of coffee, soda, cake. It's odd that both acted as if they had not seen her for years when they had visited her in LA just a few months ago. They visit at least twice a year and each visit was very much welcomed by Lexa. The only downside was listening to her mother complained about Melanie.

"Does she ever shut up? Does she have to talk so fast? I can barely understand her," Mae would say.

It was worse when Lexa was dating Melanie. Now that she thought about it, Mae had never really approved of any of her girlfriends, not that it mattered to her. There was Alice, a model whom Mae thought looked like a drug addict, and Rita the hotelier,too serious for her own good. The most absurd was Priscilla, a nurse. Mae didn't like her hair.

The one that came closest to obtaining Mae's approval was Clarke. Mae knew Clarke since she was in diapers. She was, after all, the Griffin's housekeeper back then. Clarke was a familiar presence in their home, just as Lexa was in the Griffin's. Her mother's greatest fear, though unspoken, was that Clarke was Abby Griffin's daughter.

The question that Lexa had been expecting came as she headed upstairs to her room.

"Are you seeing anyone?" Mae asked.

"No. Well, nothing serious."

"And how is Melanie?"

Lexa hid her smile, knowing her mother was always a little afraid they would get back together. "She's good. She sends her love."

Mae nodded once, and changed the subject, "How do you like the house?"

"It's beautiful, and a whole lot bigger than I expected. I love it."

Mae smiled softly, and moved past her to open the door to the bedroom.

Stepping in, Lexa hitched a breath. It was like stumbling upon a time capsule.

Her old CD player sat next to stacks of CDs on the worn writing table, her Thelma and Louise poster hung on the wall next to The X Files, her books piled on the floor in one corner and the clothes she left behind hung in the open closet. The only new thing was the bed.

It was as if her mother had placed everything in exactly the same position as they were in their old house.

"I wasn't sure what you wanted to keep. So, I didn't throw anything away. I kept Lee's stuff too. Some of hers are in the closet, some in the basement."

Lexa didn't know how to respond. She was swept away by a wave of unidentifiable emotions.

"Lexa...if...would you prefer to sleep in the guest room instead?" Mae asked, uncertainty clear in her voice.

Lexa turned to see the doubt on her mother's face. She was quick to assure. "No, it's fine. I was just surprised to see the room. It looks a lot like my old room."

Mae grimaced. "I'm sorry. It's too much, isn't it? You left so suddenly...I just wanted you to have the chance to decide what you wanted to keep."

"It's ok, mom." Lexa took her mother's hands. "Really, and thank you. Besides, this will give me the opportunity to relive the horrid fashion sense of my teenage years."

Mae let out a relieved laugh. "You're always beautiful, no matter what you wear. Maybe except for that glittery, the Christmas tree sweater you bought at the Harrisons' yard sale."

"God, what was I thinking?"

They shared a laugh, then Mae asked, "Have you told anyone you're back?"

Lexa shook her head.

"Not even Clarke?"

Lexa dropped her gaze. "No. I haven't spoken to her since…I'm not even sure if she wants to see me."

She felt her mother's gentle hand on her shoulder. "Lexa, I know there is a lot of history between the two of you and a lot of things left unsaid, but I think no matter what had happened, she would always be happy to see you."

Was her mother right? She wanted to believe so.

"I also told her that you might come back, but I don't think she believes me." Mae gave her a faint, sad smile.

Lexa had certainly never gave Clarke any reason to believe she would ever come back to Polis. Why would Clarke believe her now? Hell, she could hardly believe she's here too.

"Are you going to the cemetery tomorrow?"

"That's the plan."

"You will go see Clarke too, won't you? She could use a friend right now."

Lexa drew a deep breath. " Yes, I will after."

"Alright, I'll let you rest. You look tired." Mae grazed her knuckles against Lexa's cheeks.

"I am, a little." Lexa admitted.

"If you need anything, just knock on our door."

"I will, don't worry."

Mae stopped at the door. Hesitantly, she said in a small voice, "Your sister is there too, not far from Stacy."

Lexa inhaled sharply as a pang tugged at her insides. Weakly, she replied, "I will go over."

Mae offered her a smile, both sorrowful and happy. She stood there for a moment, studying her daughter. Then, with a slight quiver, she said, "Goodnight Lexa. I'm so happy you're here."

* * *

Indra couldn't decide how she felt after her phone call with Mae. The police chief sat in the silence, listening to the ticktock of the wall clock in her office.

She had expected Lexa to come back upon learning of Stacy's death. Lexa was loyal to a fault, even though some may think she had abandoned her family and friends when she left at the worst possible time. Of course, they didn't know the circumstances of her departure like Indra did, or the role Indra had played.

Indra had kept in touch with Lexa, even visited her in LA. Having her back in Polis, however, gave her conflicting feelings. As happy as she was, Indra was also aware of the danger this town presents and the danger that lurked within Lexa.

She reached down to unlock one of her drawers and pulled out three files from the bottom of the stack. She placed them neatly one next to the other on her table, staring at the bold, messy handwriting. It had been a while since she saw these three names.

The time had come to find where they were and made damn sure their paths would not cross with Lexa's. Indra would not fail the Woods and Clarke again.

Never again.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hotshot reporter, Lexa Woods, was living the good life in Los Angeles. Then came the phone call that would turn her world upside down, bringing her back to the town of Polis. There, waiting for her were old friends and old enemies, past tragedies and Clarke Griffin, the woman who owned her heart. Soon, Lexa would realise that there was no escape from the past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Characters, except for original ones, do not belong to me.
> 
> Thanks for reading and commenting! Mistakes are entirely mine.

**Chapter 3**

_**Polis, 1995** _

_The night was unusually quiet. Few cars and fewer people were out on the cold, wet streets. The rain continued to pour, raindrops pitter-pattering against the windows of the diner. Seated at the cashier counter, Mae let the sound soothed her tired mind._

_A few tables behind the cashier counter, tucked in a quiet corner doing their homework were her two daughters – 8-year old Lexa and 7-year old Lee – and Dr. Abby Griffin’s 7-year old girl, Clarke._

_Nights like this were becoming increasingly common; after the untimely death of her husband, Abby seemed to devote her all her time to building their practice._

_“Jack put his heart into this business. I need to keep it going, I need to keep going. I can’t fail him,” Abby had confided in her one evening, not long after Jack’s funeral._

_And so, Clarke was often left in her care, some days, after her working hours. Abby paid her for the extra time, of course. She was very fond of Clarke and her daughters were delighted to have her around more. Those three and that new kid, Stacy Mason were always together._

_Under better circumstances, Mae wouldn’t have taken the money. But, raising two kids on her own wasn’t easy or cheap. Even with two jobs – as a housekeeper for the Griffins and a cashier five nights a week at the diner – money was tight._

_“I told you, I warned you about that piece of shit. You made your bed, now lie in it.” Mae could hear her late father say in his sandpaper hoarse voice._

_Her father was right, unfortunately. Tommy Heller was bad news. She should have known the moment she met him. He was too handsome, too smooth, too much big talk. He stuck around for Lexa’s first year and two months after Lee was born, he took off, leaving behind a note that pretty much said he’s done with them. Mae didn’t shed a tear nor did she look for him. She was surprised he stayed this long._

_Mae was shook out of her thoughts by a familiar voice. “Ugh, I hate the weather.”_

_She smiled at the sight of a frowning Indra, water dripping down her face and large wet patches on her police uniform._

_“Here.” Mae gave Indra a clean napkin._

_Indra took it gratefully. “It needs to stop raining yesterday.”_

_“I know. I think a nice warm mug of hot chocolate will do you some good and maybe, fried chicken with a side of mashed potatoes.”_

_“Ah, you know me so well.” Indra chuckled. Noticing the kids, she asked, “The sitter couldn’t make it again?”_

_“Said she has to study for her exams.”_

_It was getting increasingly hard to rely on her regular babysitter. The teenager was not only swamped by school work, she had also just started dating. Babysitting for money was just no longer a priority, especially for someone who didn’t really need the money._

_“My offer still stands, you know?” said Indra._

_Before Mae could speak, Indra continued. “Let me do my pitch again. I would be more than happy to watch the kids when I’m not on night shift. I’m fun, I’m cool, I live just down the street from you and I adore the kids. And they adore me, probably because I have a police uniform and drive a police cruiser with flashing light and blaring sirens. Let me help you.”_

_“I really don’t want to trouble you,” Mae said even though the offer was very appealing._

_The children really did liked Indra, took to her right from the start, which was surprising to Mae. Indra, as kind as she was, was an intimidating woman whose glare could as deadly as her punch._

_“It’s really no trouble at all. Promise.”_

_Unable to find any reasons to decline the offer, Mae relented. “Ok, but please let me do something for you.”_

_“Buy me coffee or something once in a while.” Indra smiled brightly._

_“I’ll throw in a fried chicken or two.”_

_Indra extended her hand. “Deal.”_

_Minutes later, Mae watched Indra and the children laughing loudly at the table. So full of energy and life, none of which she had. Mae was tired to the bones. Some days, she worried she wasn’t there enough for Lexa and Lee, and now even Clarke. Worried that she would overlook something, forget something, didn’t listen enough or talk enough, or be there to watch over them._

_Lexa and Lee were precocious, curious, headstrong kids with a naughty streak. Lee, in particular, was starting to become a handful. It worried Mae that she could see shades of Tommy in Lee._

_But, Mae had Lexa. She could count on her eldest daughter. Lexa had had her moments but she was still the more responsible of the two._

_“I need you to watch over Lee, and Clarke too, ok? I’m counting on you.” Mae had told Lexa one night._

_Lexa had promised then to do just that. Years later, Mae would hate herself for putting this responsibility on her daughter._

_Outside, the rain showed no signs of slowing. Mae let the chatter of the diner fade to the background as she focused on the gentle tapping of the rain._

 

\------------------------------------

**Present day**

Consciousness came to her slowly, sliding languidly up the length of her body. Lexa blinked to clear her sleep from her eyes.

The early morning light filtered through the sheer curtains. She pulled the blanket higher, seeking the warmth it offered. She inhaled the chilly morning air, smelling of sweet nature. All around, it was quiet, except for the steady and faint sound of her breathing.

Lexa had missed the peaceful mornings of Polis.

She used to wake up earlier just to enjoy moments like this; snuggled in bed as the world slowly comes alive. Alas, today was not that day.

She dragged her heavy limbs out of bed and shuffled to the washroom. Not long after, she walked into the kitchen to find Ed flipping pancakes and Mae setting the table.

Mae flashed a welcoming smile seeing her daughter. “Good morning, Lexa.”

“Morning.” She eyed the growing stack of pancakes and felt her stomach grumbled. It had been a while since she had pancakes.

Ed caught the longing look. “Want some?”

Lexa grinned and held out a plate. Finding herself surprisingly hungry, Lexa started on hers first. She stuffed them down greedily.

“You’re always inhaling your food,” Mae said with clear affection in her voice.

“Sorry, I’m really hungry.”

They chatted as they ate. Mostly about Lexa’s work in an effort to keep the topic light. Lexa was enjoying her coffee when the doorbell rang. Looking at her watch, she asked, “Who could it be? It’s not even 7.30 yet.”

Lexa saw a look passed between Ed and Mae as Ed excused himself to open the door. Lexa raised a brow at Mae, who was suddenly busy staring at the rim of her coffee cup.

Almost meekly, Mae confessed, “I hope you don’t mind, I told someone that you’re back in town. It’s really only a matter of time before people knew. Polis is really not that big.”

Before she could ask who it was, a voice boomed, “Well, hell has frozen over! I had to come see with my own eyes.”

Lexa knew that voice anywhere. She sighed mightily even though she was happy to see her friend.

“Hello Octavia.”

“Lexa, Lexa, shame on you. Do you really think you can sneak back into town without me noticing?”

Octavia sat down and helped herself to the pancakes.

“Good morning to you too and please help yourself,” Lexa snarked.

“Is someone cranky this morning? Ok, tell me the truth, are you still mad at me for breaking your vase?”

“How petty do you think I am? It’s just a vase.”

“You were pretty pissy about it when you found out.”

“I was pissy because you didn’t lock my apartment door when you guys went out. I live in LA, for god’s sake. Getting robbed is not my bucket list.”

“In my defence, that was Raven’s fault. She’s annoying and distracting,” argued Octavia.

“Funny, she said the exact same thing about you.”

“She’s a load of bull. Anyway, are you ready to go?” Octavia got up, grabbing Lexa’s cup to take a sip of her coffee.

“Hey, get your own! There’s a whole pot over there. And where are we going?”

“Umm...Octavia offered to take you around today. It’ll be easier, don’t you think? It has been awhile since you’re back and the town has changed,” said Mae.

Lexa observed her friend, standing there with her coffee and, what Lexa could see, a gun concealed under her jacket. To her left, her mother was cutting her pancakes into small pieces, a failed attempt at acting casual.

She was certain now why Octavia was here. “Don’t you have crimes to solve, assholes to beat up? Does Indra know you’re playing chauffeur during working hours?”

Octavia shrugged. “What Indra doesn’t know won’t kill her. Let’s go, what are you waiting for?”

It wasn’t till they go into the car that Lexa asked, “So, Indra put you up to this?”

To Octavia’s credit, she knew better than to lie. “She’s just looking out for you. So am I.”

Lexa knew that was true, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t annoyed. She ran a hand through her hair.

“I’m not here to cause trouble. I don’t need an armed escort.”

“I know. She just asked me to drop in and see how you’re doing. Ok, more like sense your mood in case you’re triggered to do something crazy.” A beat. “Listen, we just want to make sure that your visit will not end with you in the hospital or in jail or dead.”

Despite herself, Lexa smiled. She could see where they were coming from. “I promise to try to stay out of trouble, ok?”

Seemingly satisfied with the answer, Octavia started the ignition. 

 

\------------------------------------ 

 

 

“Are you sure you don’t want me to go down with you?” Clarke knew she shouldn’t be asking but was unable to stop herself.

If Clarke had her way, she would had kept Ginny with her at home instead of sending her to preschool. Leave it to Raven to point out that Ginny actually seemed eager to go back. Reluctantly, Clarke had to admit Raven was right.

Clarke was aware her reasons were selfish. It was she who needed Ginny’s presence at home, needed her to fill the empty house.

“Yes, mom. Can I go now?” Ginny whined, squirming out of Clarke’s arms.

“Ok, ok. I love you.” Clarke kissed the top of Ginny’s head.  
  
Ginny halted, one leg dangling out the car door. She looked at her mother, a gentle smile on her face. “I love you too, Mom.”

Clarke’s throat constricted at the simple declaration. Her emotions had been running wild this past weeks, unpredictable, scaring even herself. She inhaled deeply and said, “I’ll see you later.”

Clarke watched her daughter sprinting off to greet her friends. At times like this, Clarke was grateful Ginny was such a social bird. At least, she knew Ginny would always have friends with her.

Clarke was never shy, and had plenty of friends when she was younger even though she spent most of her time with Lexa, Lee and Stacy. Especially Lexa.

Nothing ever seemed to stay the same. By the time Ginny was born, Clarke had put her budding career as a photographer on the backburner, pouring all her energy into her family. There was simply little time for anything else.

Without even realising it, Ginny and Stacy became her whole world. Now that her carefully constructed life had fallen apart, she felt as though she was drifting aimlessly on the open sea.

She took a moment to compose herself before pulling away from the curb. A few blocks down the road, as she waited for the lights to turn green, she saw Octavia’s familiar red car directly across the road and she wasn’t alone.

She squinted, leaning forward to get a better view at the person sitting in the passenger seat. Her muscles jerked and for a moment, she forgot to breathe.

It couldn’t be. Could it? No, Clarke told herself she must be mistaken.

She saw Mae just last week at the supermarket, she didn’t say anything about Lexa coming back. It was not possible. Lexa would never come back.

Yet, she knew she would recognise Lexa anywhere, even from a distance. Lexa was simply a memory that refused to be erased.

Octavia’s car rounded the bend. Clarke watched it till it disappeared from view. The cars behind her honked. She looked up at the green light, her head and her heart muddled. Shaking her head, she put the car into gear and headed home.

 

\------------------------------------

People often looked at her funny whenever she said she found cemeteries peaceful. Lexa ignored them, holding firm to her view.

In the silence of early morning, with the cool misty air filling her lungs, Lexa found peace among the headstones of marble, bronze and granite. The loved and the forgotten, lives well spent and lives wasted, each a story waiting to be told.

She glanced at Octavia leaning on the car, talking animatedly on her mobile phone.

“I’m going to wait for you at the car. I think you might want some time alone. I’ll be here,” Octavia said.

So, Lexa ventured forth on her own. She walked slowly along the small paved path. The sun streaked through the shelter of the trees, beaming little rays of light on the grey and white headstones. The place was quiet with nary a soul in sight.

Remembering Octavia’s instructions, she took a left turn at the junction and stepped onto the soft grassy surface. It wasn’t long before she came to Stacy’s final resting place.

Stacy Mason-Griffin, wife, mother & daughter, the engraved words read, flanked on either side by angels and flowers laid on the ledge, some fresh, some dried.

Her heart clenched at the sight, air vacating her lungs in a rush. She knelt and trailed her fingers lightly along the edge of the cold marble as she placed the bouquet of lilacs on it.

The memories caught her unprepared, playing like an old grainy movie before her eyes.

Eight-year old Stacy sitting on the Woods’ front yard, tears running down her freckled cheeks and her red hair a mess as she held her bleeding knee after taking a tumble. The four of them running with reckless abandon down the rain-drenched trail that led to the lake, feet stomping puddles, and the rain lashing against their skins as they laughed into the wind.

A teenage Stacy running into her arms, her drunken father yelling behind her. Stacy staring disapprovingly at her as Lexa sat behind bars, listening to Clarke fighting with Abby.

Then, there was their last encounter. Lexa could still hear Stacy’s slurring words and the desperation of her pleads. It was the first time she realised the depth of Stacy’s love for Clarke, leading Lexa to make the hardest decision she had ever had to make.

Lexa stayed for a while, letting herself be swept memories of another life. Stacy was really gone. Regrets set in. She should have called or wrote, so afraid was she of stirring up the past.

She rubbed her eyes wearily. Just a short walk away was another grave waiting for her to visit. She was exhausted, her head was throbbing, her neck stiff and her heart, a complete mess. Tomorrow. Tomorrow, she would come back, she told herself.

Lexa rose to her feet and dusted off her jeans. Her eyes lingered on the engraved name and silently, she said, “Goodbye, Stacy.”

She walked back to the car slowly. Seeing Octavia in the distance, she waved to indicate she was ready to leave. She was about 100 metres away from the car when she caught sight of a familiar name on a headstone.

Lexa stopped in her tracks and stared hard at the name. Victor Wolfe.

“Victor died a couple of years back,” Octavia said as she approached her.

“How?”

“Fell down a flight of stairs and cracked open his head on the concrete. He slipped into a coma and never woke up. He had meth in his system. To be honest, I was surprised he lived as long as he did.”

Lexa tensed. She wanted to say she felt nothing but it was simply not true. Her skin prickled. She bit down on her lower lip and willed them away. Yet, she couldn’t stop herself from asking, “What happened to Ca-“

“Don’t, Lexa,” Octavia jumped in.

“Will you relax? I’m not going to hunt them down and set fire to their homes, alright? I...I just want to know.”

Octavia raised her brow, then looked down at her shifting feet. Finally, almost in resignation, she said, “They are still in town, somewhere.”

Lexa nodded, knowing that was the best she could get out of Octavia. The unfairness of it all struck her; they get to go on with their lives, while her family had to live with the loss.

Octavia placed her hand on Lexa’s arm. “Hey, don’t make me regret telling you this.”

“It was a long time ago and it’s not a place I wish to revisit,” Lexa said honestly.

“Good.” Octavia was visibly relieved. Lightening up, she asked,” So, where to next?”

Lexa was about to speak when she saw a figure emerged from behind the tree. Her intended words swiftly disappeared as she realised who it was.

It came out hushed, in a rush of air. “Clarke.” 

\------------------------------------ 

Reasons eluded Clarke. She was almost home. Then, it was as if she had stepped outside of her body and watched herself suddenly turned the steering wheel and swung back in the direction she came from.

Clarke had to know if her mind was playing tricks on her. She didn’t want to know why it mattered so much. She just needed to know if it was Lexa she saw.

Her instinct told her they were heading for the cemetery. If Lexa was indeed back, that was where she would go first.

All the way there, her thoughts ran at a thousand mile per minute, tripping and tumbling. How would she feel if it was really Lexa she saw? What would she say?

Clarke saw her the moment she pulled up to the car park. How her heart pounded then.

Now, as her feet took her closer to the woman she had once loved so completely, a multitude of emotions sped through her veins and slammed into her chest. Shock, joy, disappointment, relief, fear, anger, she could not tell.

A few feet away, Clarke’s stopped and let her weary eyes study the face before her. The years had changed Lexa; a certain hardness set in the corners of her green eyes, her cheeks were more sculpted, lips somewhat fuller, and her hair darker than she remembered, adding a level of maturity and character to her looks.

Somethings never changed, Clarke thought guilty. Lexa was still the most beautiful woman she had ever laid eyes on.

She was vaguely aware of Octavia mumbling something before beating a hasty retreat to the safety of her car.

Alone, neither said a word. Lexa rubbed her palms on the side of her jeans and took a step forward then stopped, head bowed.

Shaking her head slightly as if she was scolding herself, Lexa finally lifted her gaze. She wore a gentle, disarming smile Clarke knew so well and from her lips spilled the simple words, “Hello, Clarke.”

Clarke found herself easily returning the smile. “Hello, Lexa.”

  
\------------------------------------

 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
